DATE: 04 Feb 2008, 10:43 pm / MOOD: Other

Love is risking everything for the possibility that you will be devestated 

Love is sharing - ups and downs, smiles and tears, mountain tops and valley lows


Love is caring way too much and longer than anyone thinks that you should.

Love is holding on too tightly because you know it is worth every struggle but also being willing to let go when you are asked to.

Love is having the guts to say what you want and what you need.

Love is all consuming, unintentional, unconvienient, and can be so unimaginably wonderful.

Love is not something you control, it happends to you, it comes from you, it is given and taken and yet we can not buy it or sell it - it just happends.

Love is often painful, sorowful, woeful and hurtful, and yet to really live you have to take that risk over and over again. Inspite of the pain and hurt it can cause it can also create great and unspeakable joy.    

Live Life, Laugh, and Love with all that you are. There are no guarantees except that life is full of joy, sorrow, laughter and sadness, pain and the warmth of Love

 

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DATE: 05 Dec 2007, 7:01 pm / MOOD: Other

"When you go through life so sure of where you are heading and you wind up lost and its the best thing that could happen . Sometimes when you loose your way its just as well, casue that is when you find yourself."

I like venturing out in a city I am visiting. Carrying a map I know I am not truely lost and yet I can explore, learn new things & see new things. I am never afraid of those adventures, my family sometimes is though. I have traversed Atlanta Georgia, Norfolk Virginia, Daytona, Myrtle Beach, many Tennessee cities, Huntsville Alabama and many more. I love the sense of adventure and the challenge to return to where I started. Of course you never truely return as you were, these adventures always broaden your horizons and make you a more intellegent person. In October I ventured out to Fontana to meet other BW riders. It had been a long time since I had made that trip and even though I felt lost a few times I found my way and finally found the group. I took in scenery and wildlife, I took in the road, discovered by accident that even the wrong direction at Punkin Center gets me to a place I know well and goes by a cool BBQ place and a used cycle parts yard. See wiser and more intellegent.

I am glad to be finding myself even if I am lost, it's good to have great biker friends to meet along the way too!

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DATE: 05 Dec 2007, 6:25 pm / MOOD: Other

Wondering if I lived each day like it was the last, would I do things differently? Would the ones I love know how I felt about them? Hmmm…

 

For you I’d get up early or stay up late to have that special alone time with you. Hold your hand like I never want to let go. Kiss your lips more softly and tenderly experiencing every moment. Thinking of you every second you are away and longing for your return. I’d tell you the things that make you so dear to me: you are the most kind, caring, amazing man I have ever met with the biggest heart, the sweetest face and the laugh I absolutely love. You are the love I can’t and don’t want to live without. I would hope that you know I have nothing but respect, admiration and love for you. I hope you know I would like nothing more than to see your smile each morning and look into your eyes each night for all my life. That my love holds true whether I am by your side or if I am a thousand or more miles away, it stays the same.

 

I’d do all the things I do everyday for my family but I would cherish the smiles and be satisfied by the fact they are cared for. I’d have more patience and give more hugs and kisses. I would take in every teachable moment for my child. I want my son to remember I loved him, protected him, cherished him, absolutely adored him and never did anything without thinking it was the best for him. He is my special gift from God, and that much is expected of him.

 

This world is such an amazing place. I hope we can experience it together as a family and as a couple.  That we can make treasured memories of happy times, love abounding and times of unspeakable joy to last a lifetime if need be.

 

I will forever… forgive & forget, love without holding back, cherish time, seek friendships, be a true friend, and always faithful and true. Living life like I am not promised tomorrow but reaching for an amazing future that hopefully includes you.

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DATE: 05 Dec 2007, 6:24 pm / MOOD: Other

I am thankful for… 

Cheesecake, it is delicious and I can make it from scratch.

Prayer, I can always talk to God.

My child, the legacy of my love.

You, being just wonderful and amazing you.

Love, a good keeper and defender of my heart

Dreams, to always have hope for the future

Desire, to ignite passion in our souls

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DATE: 29 Nov 2007, 7:23 pm / MOOD: Other

After the web collapses there are only two options; you either cease or you rebuild. Hopefully, rebuilding with a new found wisdom. Making sure each strand is securely fastened and anchored. Is the web weak if it is rebuilt with some of the same structures? Sometimes it is unavoidable, and without change I have to say yes it is very weak in those spots. The strands are thin in places, looming to snap at anytime whether they will or not is not the issue. The ones laid out anew are laid with a firmer foundation due to more research, a caution in mind and contemplation before they are spun. Meanwhile the original web lays scattered at your feet as a reminder of how with over confidence your down fall can come swiftly.

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DATE: 29 Nov 2007, 7:22 pm / MOOD: Other

The way I see it …

Any man can make love to your body. It takes a true man to love your soul and to love you for all that you are.

Of course…

It goes both ways.

What a magnificent love we could have in relationships if we could just love each other for the right reasons.

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DATE: 29 Nov 2007, 7:21 pm / MOOD: Other

Who in life has not experienced the disappointment of a fading love? Some are short lived and others are from long term relationships; regardless the length someone is devastated & heartbroken. Sometimes it is even expected.  I have to ask, are past relationships a catalyst to whom we are to be with? A stepping stone on the path to building our character or is it simply our own free will and a bad choice on our part?

Why is it that after several years one wakes one morning and looks at the love in their life and decides they are no longer enough? Or that even though their love is devoted to them they need or desire the affections of another? And for that matter why it was never communicated before taking up with another? Suddenly when things are going bad in their new found release, why then is it so important to communicate this issue and then expect the once love of their life to just accept it and go on like nothing has occurred; no change, no apologies, no wanting of forgiveness – just forget about it and let’s move forward form here? I don’t have the answer for any of those conundrums. I do know it has been expected from a great many of us though. You have to love yourself enough to be strong for yourself, listening to your heart whether to renew a love or to even let your heart love again. You have to decide you are deserving of someone who will understand you, love you and treat you like you know you deserve to be treated.

  

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DATE: 29 Nov 2007, 7:20 pm / MOOD: Other

I notice the crisp feeling in the air as my bare feet hit front porch; I know it is the end of fall. The valley before me is beautiful, gold with a glimmering frost for accent. I realize the bitter cold of winter is just around the corner. I have to admit though “I love it”! I stand there clutching my warm coffee cup and reflect over the past few months. This summer was fun for the most part but I must say it has been the one season that my life has changed the most in my thirty seven years. Some good changes and several heart wrenching. I have reconnected with old friends and met great new ones. Lost at love and gained love, Watched my child grow from a toddler into a boy full of energy and most of all reconnected with myself. I anticipate that the changes that have occurred in my life will be like the changing of the season, not an end or beginning but a new direction a new growth and a broadened horizon. I now expect change and almost have learned to embrace it because without change life becomes stagnant and mundane.

Here’s to life and to changes for a new year!

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DATE: 10 Oct 2007, 6:56 am / MOOD: Hurt

The annalogy of a spider and her web is much understood today.

 A spider floats along on the fall wind, in search of a future home. She comes to a barn and finds a tiny hole in which to enter. The vastness and conditions are perfect so as she drops through the hole she begins her web. It is a massive web which serves her well for many years. It is a fruitful web and catches many bugs for sustinance. Her web eventually covers most of the loft space of the old barn, the elaborate tunnels and weavings are beautiful. As she is maintaining her web one day she comes across this plain single strand that appears to go up into no where and has no seeming purpose. As she snips the strand her whole world colapses in on her and she is devastated. Now what, do you move on or do you    re-build and if she re-builds does she do it there when she has the memory of the beautiful web that was so prosperous?

I have had some bad news as of last night and I don't know if I am at a dead end or am I suppose to do a U-turn and backtrack to where I got on this road. It is a life altering decision that I have to make not only for me but for my family and some others I care about and even some I really don't give a crap about! It is a web I have worked on for most of my life, 23 years to be exact, and I really may not be the one making any decision, somone else may be making it for me and I don't know if his heart is in the right place, I know his head isn't. I seek the guidance of my God and support of my friends regaurdless of how this goes down and I know I will survive it, hopefully well.  Just don't want my friends here to wonder where I am if I am scarce for a while, I am here, I just am locked inside my head and heart dealing with life as it has come to me. I will do my best not to slip into an abyss of depression and I know that you all will brighten my day with your stories, comments and messages. I love you all, Thank you.

Smoky Mountain Angel

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DATE: 09 Oct 2007, 8:29 am / MOOD: Elated

I woke up this morning to find that we finally had that misty morning fog I am so fond of. Leaving out for the BW meet up full of anticipation, the fog clung to the windshield of the car as Red Molly still requires some much needed parts and I need more practice before the two of us can make a ride, it would not be today.

Driving through the country side with the fog hanging just above the grassy fields it resembled a snowy blanket covering the ground. It melted away as I approached the tail of the dragon and the sun got higher in the mountains. Alone in solitude and thought my mind wandered through many things, the future, the past, dreams and reality. My mind was taking as many turns as the road that lay ahead.As I started the ascend I found an overlook where many were stopped, the breath taking view of the water cutting through the rugged mountains was awe inspiring and worthy of preserve, so I took a few pictures. Realizing I was pushed for time if I were to make it to Fontana Dam by 10 to meet up with LSS and CC I pushed on after a brief conversation and picture taking with some of the riders. Riders in front of me and behind me, I respectfully admired the skill of the riders that were in front of me. Of course I was equally concerned for the skill of the one behind me as he was riding way too close to my bumper and making me nervous. I finally reached Deal's Gap and I pulled off for a quick break. Wow, what a great place. Of course there were many motorcycles and riders there and everyone was friendly and in good moods as we all had great weather for the ride. I ran in and got a quick snack and verified that I did know the way to the dam and headed back out to meet my friends. As I rounded the base of the dam I had to stop, how impressive this massive dam is. A towering wall of concrete and steel, a quick thought of panic shot through my mind as I thought of the millions of gallons of water this structure was holding back and here I stand at the bottom of the bowl. I took a quick picture and was off again. Climbing past Hellbender's Pit Stop and rounding by Fontana Village I finally had arrived. As I looked around for an inkling of familiararity I realized I must be the first one there. I found a nice little spot in the picnic area and sitting in the overlook there I discovered I was no longer disconnected from the outside world, I had a cell phone signal! A strong one at that. I called my parents to let them know I had arrived safely and was fine. Then I called my love to let him know how awesome it was and how I wished we were riding it together. Then I patiently waited and watched as every bike went in and out. I observed some wild turkeys as they investigated the reminants at the picnic sites and of course photographed many couples for their photo logs and invited many of them to BW's site. Good thing I had those cards on me. I headed back down to the dam, the first time through I walked right past LSS & CC thinking that is probably them but I did not reckognize them with their hair up, in leathers, and in helmets. They had left when I came back. I waited longer and decided to go back to the picnic area in case someone was trying to call. As I drove out the they rode back in. Realizing these were the only two ladies I had seen all day riding together I boldly decided to walk up and ask "Are you meeting someone here?" LSS answered "yeah, you!" As soon as she spoke I reckognized her voice and I was elated to see them! I can say this, of all the times I have been let down in my life by others, I NEVER even doubted that they would be there or that we would meet up. The faith in my riding sisters was fully bonded this day, and I never had a doubt that I could trust them.  We checked out the dam, tried to call the others we were meeting up with and then headed out to Deal's Gap for snacks, bike watching, chit chat and wait to see if the others might arrive. We saw some pretty awesome bikes. There was this one in particular, I talked to the rider a bit while inside the store. It was a burnt orange bike with a sidecar and a specially designed trailer. The bike was designed for the rider and his buddy who was in a wheel chair, the bike and sidecar were just beautiful and the friendship between the two was a testiment to the heart of bikers everywhere. It was a priveldge to have met them. Of course I had to see "the Road Rash Wall of Fame" and check out the "Tree of Shame and Pain" I had heard so much about. Didn't see many Harley parts on the tree but lots of sport bike parts, hmmm? Well I headed out about 2 pm to let them hit the road and enjoy thier ride and I got to go back down the tail of the Dragon on my way to Six Mile Cycle to look for the parts Red Molly needs, now with a new determination to get her running and myself up on her skilled enough to takle that this spring for the next ride along with LSS and CC. Until next time... keep it rubber side down and ride safe!

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