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Title: Banned from WalMart
Category: Other
Blog Entry: BANNED FROM WAL MART........ ... This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips toWal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring andpreferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is likemost women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received thefollowing letter from the local Wal-Mart.Dear Mrs. Samsel,Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite acommotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have beenforced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillancecameras.1. June 15:  Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people'scarts when they weren't looking.2 . July 2:  Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at5-minute intervals.3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to thewomen's restroom.4. July 19:  Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'5. August 4:  Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M'son layaway.6. August 14:  Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.7. August 15:  Set up a tent in the camping department and told othershoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blanketsfrom the bedding department.8. August 23:  When a clerk asked if they could help him he began cryingand screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'9. September 4:  Looked right into the security camera and used it as amirror while he picked his nose.10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, heasked the clerk where the antidepressants were.11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly hummingthe ' Mission Impossible' theme.12. October 6:  In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'by using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'14. October 21:  When an announcement came over the loud speaker, heassumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICESAGAIN!'And last, but not least .15. October 23:  Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'Regards,Tom RichardsWalmart Manager