13 Apr 2008, 10:10 am / Lonely
So I thought it was gonna be so great to be single and free. And it is sometimes. But sometimes I wish I had someone to be so close with. that would hold me and just say that it will be ok.... ......life can be a lot sometimes and i personally have an abstract way of taking it. I often feel like i want to hurt people when i get angry. people are so stupid and that gets me goin even more.... something happened yesterday and I yelled and paced a lot instead of kikkin her ass. My sister, Kathy. She , well, she is an over opinionated, bossy, over bearing BITCH. every thread of my being was wanting to knock out her front teeth. Like a woman, she wont shut the hell up when ya really NEED her to... the next thing will be knuckles...... I can see why guys hit women sometimes. She was testin me, yappin her trap talkin shit and she WOULDNT stop. teasin me with what you gonna do n shit....... o ill tell ya what i would do, i'd change up her face so she will HAFTA get the plastic surgery she been lookin into. im an asshole like that, ya know, help her along...but I couldnt because my kids were in the room. I tell ya what WILL happen...i got so much bs goin on, im either gonna snap and go off on someone or not. i dont give a shit man. depends on how im feelin at the time. usually I am pretty quelled.....but sometimes, some shit. so thats why I am looking for someone to be close with. I need to be quelled more. I been pushed like that before and its not always pretty. when i feel like this i usually get drunk and be an asshole, bench press or get with my someone i dont got. or i blog. I dont let people touch me, i dont know, i just think its uncalled for...its fake, you know them 'ooooooh hiiii' n get a hug and a kiss. Its fake man. I need something real and strong. someone that I can count on. someone that will calm me and again make me forget what I cant do nothin about anyhow. yyyup.
|
