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03 Apr 2007, 9:32 pm / Dont know

It has been a while now, since I have been single again. I am beginning to think I am destined to stay that way.......

I moved from NY to LA to be with supposed my soul mate. Only if I knew how wrong I was. It was the biggest mistake, I think I could have made. (just short of getting married) I became a doormat...... A babysitter for his daughter......I lived in a emotional vaccuum....... Then he adds even more salt to an already open wound by cheating on me. Big suprise there, huh? All of my feelings for this man turned to complete dust.... I am soooo over him........

I guess I am more angry over the way I was treated, then anything else. What I am trying to figure out is why I attract this type of guy? My ex husband was the same way except for the verbal and emotional abuse was 20x worse (my marriage was a living hell)...... I don't understand the cheating either. I'm a good looking woman, who is in shape
I take care of myself. I don't look my age...... I don't nag, or complain., I don't cheat...I prefer to talk problems out instead of fight.... I have a extremely high sex drive .......... I am extremely intelligent.....I am a extremely confident person.


I will also be the first to admit that I do have faults..... I hate housework. I will find something else to do first..... I prefer to be outside..... I have several others as well. It takes a big person to admit their own faults. (yeah I know, in reality I am vertically challenged Laughing)

I guess that time will tell if there is a REAL MAN out there who can show me how it really feels to be loved and cherished and most of all the respect that I deserve......

Until then, I will live my life to the best of my ability.......Undecided

I am not a whiner or complainer.  I am just venting some pent up anger......




My Comments

From: Vintage144
04 Apr 2007, 4:48 pm
your not gonna stay there are ya? Just stay in La ? Not moving back to NY! hOW FAR FROM Natchez?




From: OneLostHippie
04 Apr 2007, 1:07 pm

I to like Titan, took 3 swings of the bat to find the right one, I can honestly say that when you find them, you will know it. It just clicks, I knew I had to find someone that was just as sick and crazy as me, but also had a connection with reality to keep me grounded. Hang in there Sexy, take your time, and love will sneak up on you and before you know it, everything will fall in place.  Ride Safe....OLH

 


From: TitanChief
04 Apr 2007, 10:45 am

Well I can tell you it took me three times to get it right, but I finally did and met my best friend and partner for life.

The difference?

Recognizing my mistakes and my faults objectively rather than blame them. What type of women was I attracting? the answer was that I was attracted to the needy, looking for a knight in shiningarmor type of gal that at first is very romantic but after awhile the relationship becomes dysfunctional and needy. In short, I was told that a needy relationship is like dragging a 20 pound ball around your neck.

So, I worked on myself. I raised my 2 daughters without much help and yes, there were some lonely times, and I dated some, but I wouldn't commit until I met my friend first. My wife is fiercely independant. She makes her own money and is extremely responsible. She's also pretty damn hot and very intelligent...all very important to me, and also strangley differewnt from what I was used to.

However, when you decide to a serious commitment everything has to be layed out and examined. Every detail about that person, good and especially bad, has to be weighed before commiting. More importantly, you have to know yourself and understand your common pitfalls.

Like chopper pete says, we can all be self-centered..it's human nature, but when you decide to be in a commited relationship, you become two and that person is now you. This is not to say that you must do EVERYTHING together, but you should want to.

I'd be willing to bet that if you examined your last relationship there were warning signs of potential probelms. Granted, hindisght is 20/20, but it's how we learn.

Now, for the record, I don't think being single is a negative thing. It takes a strong person to stand up and say I dig and respect myself enough to not settle for just a warm body. Now is a good time to focus inward and discover yourself..I know it sounds corny, but when you do that your vision of what a partner should be becomes much more clear.

You're in a good stage in your life to look inward. You seem like a very cool lady, so take care of yourself first and I'd be willing to bet only good things will come from it.

Good luck, and thanks for sharing!

either way, the first  step in your journey is to









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